Greetings all, I shall begin my post today as I always do by thanking Anna, Shilpa, Jo and Mary(linkedIn) for coming along and reading my thoughts. Much love to you all as well as all of those who take the time to read but prefer to remain anonymous :)
What comes into my thoughts today are the shadow people. Now, you're probably thinking, ooh, Gary is going to go into some deep spiritual stuff here today but nay, tis not the case. What I am referring to are those wonderful souls who do like to inspect the posterior of your car whilst you're happily pottering along up the road. I just thought shadow people sounds a little bit more alluring than tailgaters.
Ah, I like driving swiftly along as much as the next driver but we have to face facts these days. There are lots of little cameras around and stealthy operators with radar guns to trap you. Whilst, it may seem painfully slow to some to adhere to those speed limits surely it's better to do that than be ensnared and plonked with a fine and points on your licence just because "Billy behind you" wanted to get home to play Call Of Duty on his PS5.
However, whilst Billy may be a bit of speed demon it is unlikely he will get the ticket. Here he is urging you to put the accelerator pedal through the floor of your vehicle and you find yourself hurtling down the road right into the path of a eager policeman with his speedgun. Boom, he gets you, ticket will follow but because Billy has been your shadow he doesn't get zapped and he guffaws at your stupidity.
This is where us drivers need to become inured from those shadow people. For once, ignore your mirrors and just poodle on up the road until you can hop along at a better pace. Now, Billy may be frothing in fury, headbutting the steering wheel and gesticulating to the the thunder clouds above to make this tortoise find the meaning of speed, but truly ignore the chap. You won't get a ticket and he'll still get home in time to parachute in find his M16 and grenades before a sniper shoots him in the back of his virtual backside. Such is life.
There is another genus of shadow people which are probably even worse than dear old Billy. I refer to these souls as the Ospers. An Osper, again sounds like they belong to a cult and perhaps they are. They are the ones who carry on regardless at the same speed whatever and wherever they are. Here is such a scenario. Imagine yourself whizzing along at the national speed limit at a good 60mph and in your mirror you see a faint outline of a car diminishing as they fall back.
Ahead, the limit lowers down to 50 and as you oblige the outline of said vehicle maintains the same distance. Oh, it's down to 40 now and you again follow and swear that car is now advancing upon you. 30mph beckons and as you decelerate the same individual continues at the same pace. Before you know it, there they are, your perfect shadow companion armed with a face of incandescent scorn as you restrict them from continuing their same 50 mph journey wherever they are.
The 30mph zone ceases and now it's 60mph once again. You decide to inject some speed into your steed and lo and behold the osper begins to diminish once more. Soon they are that dot in the mirror until the next village or restriction when your shadow might return. Ah the joys of BillyBehindYou and OllyOsper eh?
I guess it's time to bring todays whimsical piece to a close. Let's scour the archives once more and see what I can conjure up for you from back in 2016...
Words of Power
The moon devoured the clouds and filled the entire sky. Jason shrugged under the devil light and made his way to the blank office building standing alone at top of the square. He looked up and in the centre a woman in black stood by a shimmering window.
He sighed, went inside and pressed for the elevator. The lift's gears released a terrible grinding racket and the carriage arrived before him. He pulled back the iron grating with some effort and pushed his way into an oak panelled chamber filled with the scent of incense. He pressed thirteen and the lift began a jerky ascent.
The doors parted and the same woman he saw earlier beckoned him forward.
“We are all waiting for you at the end of the hall. I hope you haven't been delayed too much.”
“I'm looking forward to our meeting.”
She smiled and pirouetted back from where she came. Jason followed and an elderly suited man bowed when his mistress came forward.
“Macmillan, be so kind as to bring Jason a scotch on the rocks and a sherry for me.”
“As you wish Madam,” he replied.
They entered a plush octagonal room and she pointed for Jason to take his place at the head of the table. The other eleven occupants bowed their heads. He placed his briefcase by his side and scanned a pile of papers.
“Jason, are the instructions correct? Is there anything we have missed?”
For a while he remained silent. His index finger trailed down the pages line by line whilst he read every single word.
“I believe all is fine Miriam. I believe we can proceed.”
Miriam clapped her hands and her colleagues stood as one before gathering around a huge iron pot. Each one took hold of the side and with great effort managed to heave the cauldron onto the table.
Jason snapped open his briefcase and brought forth several small envelopes. He handed one to each member and one by one they emptied the contents into the receptacle. He donned a red robe and struck a match. The flame gave life to a noxious smoky cloud looking to find form in the shape of an insidious face.
The coven knelt before the powerful spirit. The presence inspected each one by one until its mighty gaze fell upon Jason.
“You the one responsible for summoning me?” it roared.
“I am, I take full accountability.”
The spirit shook its head.
“Oh you do do you. You'd best have a damn good reason for bringing me here or there will be consequences. I'm tired of listening to your tiny squabbles and petty intentions.”
Jason bowed.
“I know great one. Believe me, I would not have requested your presence were it something small.”
“Request you say, you make it sound like I had a choice. Just remember what magic I can unleash upon you all if I deem your question unworthy.”
Jason sensed the unease about his coven. He stood, face to face with the entity and whispered into the fell creature's amorphous ear.
The spirit's eyes darkened for a moment and all around the air crackled with sinister static. Yet, in one moment the cloud brightened and the room ignited with a pleasant golden glow.
“At last, at last I have met with someone who has given me an honest, heartfelt worthy request. Jason, you have my word, I will ask all in spirit to do all we can to help. I salute each and every of you.”
Jason bowed low and the presence dissipated with one sudden sigh. Jason ordered his followers to turn the cauldron over.
“We know the contents will spell out the words of what we have asked for. Come on, let's do it now.”
With a heave the container turned over and the coven pushed it aside. Jason and the others formed a circle of reverence about the newly formed sentence.
Worldwide peace.
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