Greetings all and first things first let me thank Sue, Jo, Shilpa, Anna, Charlotte and Fabiola for your likes/comments/love and shares. All the time you guys keep supporting and I'll keep on scribing away when the opportunity arises.
Well, here I was earlier on my PC when I looked outside to witness the world turning to a shade of white. Egads, here right at the end of March our skies decide to offer a visitation of snow. Now I know many get excited as frogs dancing in mead shoes on a marble floor but for me the sight of snow is rather gloomy. We can find ourselves housebound and cut off from the world outside. Goodness, we've had enough of that over the last few years but thankfully today the blast of God's dandruff was a fleeting affair. Please, honour us with some nice bursts of sunshine.
Soon I will be running my first workshop in Runes due to popular demand. A few people have come to me for readings and have asked me to run one and behold I've done so. I've been working away over the last couple of days getting a few pages together to elucidate upon the meaning of the runes and it's interesting to see it going onto screen. However, I will always say, the words are helpful but there's nothing better than working with your intuition and guidance. I will be doing this in my own way and really focusing on how we can utilise these old symbols into our everyday lives. I'm sure as time moves forward it will evolve into it's own little universe but I'm sure loving the journey. If any of you are interested in learning about them, there's a workshop coming up real soon in April
The evening is waxing on and soon I must away to work upon tonight's group. Obviously the theme will be the same as Tuesday but no two sessions are ever the same. The layout is almost more like a rough guide and I quite enjoy it when the planned journey may well go on a meandering route. I'm looking forward to working with Anna, Charlotte, Pippa and Paul later and possibly one or two more.
Ok, it's that time again to explore the archives. What voyage shall we undertake today I wonder...Oh yes, this was published on a now defunct website and was a lot of fun. Beware of those nasty vegetarians is all I will say and this is totally nuts. Enjoy :)
Night of the living veg
The delivery manager glanced at his watch before turning his gaze back to the shuffling bag.
“Cyril, open the bag.”
Cyril shook his head.
“Why ask me?”
“Just do it.”
Cyril tugged the strings apart. Steffan tapped his foot.
“Well, empty it then.”
Cyril inched his fingers inside.
“C’mon get on with it.”
He removed some brown paper, several fine specimens of yellow cucumbers and some peculiar stems of vegetation.
“I’ve never seen celery look like that before.” said Steffan.
The four foot long white celery betrayed not a hint of green and swayed from side to side.
“There must be some insects inside causing that.”
Steffan prodded a small opening. The stalk groaned. He continued to push his finger.
“Help me,” he screamed
Cyril looked at his manager in bewilderment.
“Get this thing off me.”
Cyril grabbed Steffan’s arm. The celery stick made a strange sucking sound and Steffan’s hand had disappeared into the mushy mouth.
Steffan’s face paled. His elbow was ready to vanish.
“Get a knife.”
Cyril scampered to the butcher’s counter and selected a wicked blade. He scampered back into the delivery area to discover Steffan’s feet protruding from the growing aperture. The mutated celery stick had grown to over six feet.
Cyril sprung at the mutant stalk. His blow struck sticky flesh and the knife held fast. The celery stick turned its gaze upon him before embracing him in a gooey embrace. The door swung open and Ted the van man stared in astonishment.
“Ted, you must get help quick.”
Ted sprinted back to the exit. His failed to spot the slimy antenna snaking towards his ankle.
Ted was lifted upside down. He screamed when he headed towards the creatures furry fanged maw. The creature began to speak in a vegetarian voice in the manner of Steffan.
“Your kind think nothing of serving us up in sandwiches and salads. Your days of feasting are over. My kind will take over your world.”
Another antenna had grabbed the sack and deposited the contents onto the floor. Starving sticks of celery awaited a new meal.
“Feast my children.”
The sprouts jumped onto Ted’s flesh. His protests were drowned out by the celebratory celery. Mother celery turned her thoughts to what was inside the store.
“Come, let’s find our brethren inside this store and breathe life into them. We will first liberate our allies, the spring onions.”
***
Janet was ravenous. She’d been on her feet all day and she fancied a celery and mushroom sandwich. She never ate meat, not since Ethel had told her about the evils of the abattoir. Stonefields always offered a good selection of vegan food.
She enjoyed nibbling her celery. She also liked cucumber sandwiches and the beautiful way the green circles were cut out. She remembered with relish the four cucumber sandwiches with mayonnaise she devoured on Monday. Janet didn’t want cucumber today, this was celery time.
She paid little attention green glow from the back of the store. She made her way to the checkout and removed her purse.
“Murderer, monkey she bitch who feasts on our children.”
Janet rubbed her eyes before casting her eyes on the rude checkout girl. In front of her sat a stick of celery in a Stonefield uniform.
She tried to speak. A tendril grabbed her neck and forced her into silence.
“Your kind are the worst. Why don’t you just stick to beef sandwiches.”
The celery absorbed her thoughts.
“So you think of abattoirs as cruel. What about farmers who cut us down? What about us poor saplings who never make it to sprout hood?”
The tendril tugged tighter. The celery embraced her before giving her a fatal sapling kiss. Mother celery watched approvingly from her vantage point at the back of the store. She had grown to the size of a small tree. She called the newly liberated produce to her attention.
“Find more fleshy ones. I’ve read their literature and their local paper. There is a nightclub nearby. They will be leaving very soon, let us go on the offensive.”
The mass of celery, cucumbers, spring onions and banks of greenery nodded their stalks in approval. Beetroots, cabbages, cauliflowers and even tomatoes had flocked to mother celery’s banner. The night of the long leaves was at last at hand.
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